I think I’m clever.

Sometimes I wonder why I have this overwhelming need to be funny.

Then I usually make a joke and forget about it.

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Search Engine Terms

Do you ever look at your stats and read over how visitors found your blog?  Occasionally I glance at it, but today I looked at the search engine terms for the past year.  It’s mostly ‘The Lizzie Bennet Diaries’ related searches, but some of the others are pretty funny.

Tickled.

I love watching programs that are set in an area I’m familiar with (don’t we all).  I’m watching the episode of Leverage where they build up the Mad Man who thinks he’s Hemingway just to set him up and take him down; the episode where the dude was driving drunk and killed his girlfriend and set up her friend to take the fall.  Anyhow, when his thug goes to pay off the girlfriend, Nate asks if they’re in the Mad Man’s hometown and Hardison says: “He’s not from Lowell.  He’s from Meth-oo-en.”

“Meth-oo-en”.  Methuen.  “MeTHUen”.  Methuen.

Aside

Well, what do you know, a picture of me finally appeared on the Countdown to the Ten Year Reunion picture FB thingamajig bullshit… I feel like throwing up a little bit.

High Tech Panties Won’t Stop Rape

Yes. Thank you.

The Belle Jar

There is currently an Indiegogo campaign created by AR Wear for a line that they call Anti-Rape Clothing. These garments, which include a pair of boy-cut brief-style panties, running shorts, leggings and “travelling shorts,” are allegedly designed and built to be unremovable except by the owner, who has some sort of key to release the locking mechanism on the waistband. Basically they act as a chastity belt, although of course we are not supposed to think of them as chastity belts. AR Wear wants us to believe that this is some sort of modern innovation, and not just a contemporary twist on an outdated garment meant to oppress and subjugate women. In fact, AR Wear wants us to believe that the opposite is true – that their anti-rape wear will actually empower women and offer them some sort of freedom that they might have been lacking.

Let’s get a few…

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Aside

I wish I could show everyone how orange the world looks at the moment.  There are rumbles in the distance and the sky has an orange glow.  The only things that would make this moment better would be chocolate, a hot drink, a comfy bed, and a large, cuddly blanket.

Ok, so a lot of things would make this orange moment better.  But it’s difficult to find these comforts at summer camp when your sleeping in a platform tent on a questionable mattress and you are getting really sick of just that (no matter how much you enjoy these things).

Snax

The other day my nephew found my snacks.

In the past two winters I’ve lived here, he’s never once questioned the reusable shopping bag filled with Twizzlers, Watermelon slices, tea, and Cheez-Its (which reminds me: buy Cheez-Its tomorrow).  Granted it’s only this year he’s two going on three and becoming more and more interested in playing the game “What do you have?”.

But, it’s true: I like my snacks (snax).  Whether it’s in the form of trail mix or chocolate or kielbasa slices, snacks are a wonderful thing.  Currently my snacks are a little sad.  It’s mostly sugar and high fructose corn syrup.  Old chocolate from Christmas, a jar of honey, Nutella, peanut butter, orange Tic Tacs, Tazo tea (bags), a can of beans, Sour Patch Kids, and some stale Twizzlers (always put those suckers in a Ziplock after opening).  As you can tell: I really need some cheesy, salty crackers to make my dry storage more palatable. 

The girl who sits next to me at our temp job has been bringing in a baggie of almonds everyday and it hit me: I’d forgotten about nuts!  I’ve been trying to figure out when I can get my forgetful ass over to a grocery market so I can get some peanuts or cashews – maybe some dried fruit to go along with it… or apples (I forget how much I like apples in the winter).  The cafe where I’m working have halved avocados (weird) but seeing them today made me want avocado.

My problem seems to be: there aren’t any grocery markets near where I work and I’m too tired to go all the way over to the one near home when I get back at the end of the day.  SO I’m still mooching Kind Bars off my sister and foregoing fruit (and Cheez-Its).  Also: our closest grocery market is Whole Foods and I don’t think they carry Cheez-Its.  It will have to wait a few more days.  Over the weekend, when I have more time and energy I should be able to replenish my snacks (and finally dispose of the empties) and get back to a healthier munchier me.

(Sidenote: how awesome a book title for an eating book would that be?  “A Healthier, Munchier Me”.  Included would be the tastiest snacks for more energy, which snacks to eat during which period drama, how to be a subtle snacker, and vague pot references.)

Tomorrow I might have to break down and buy Doritos from the cafe, but I think I’m definitely bringing another peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch — it tasted to good today; but I’ll have to remember to bring something with chocolate in it, that was missing from today’s lunch.