I hate when you share something personal, or even simply muse on a the topic, and a man responds with “you know, not all men…”, or, “did you ever think a man might not…” (usually referring to themselves) — these statements make me very, very angry.
Because the answer is “Yes”.
Women know that just because one man, or a few men, treated her a certain way, or were unkind to her, doesn’t mean that ALL men will treat her the same way, or do unkind things to her in the same way. It’s like being told cigarettes are bad for your health: We know. We’re not stupid. We don’t need a man to tell us this.
And, if you want to be the man to treat her right, then treat her right. Listen to her when she needs to talk, don’t try to fix her, give her space when she needs it, give her the respect all humans deserve, and don’t make her personal pain about you… because it’s not.
So, dear Men of the World, when a woman holds back with you because of something someone else did, remember: it’s not about you.
It’s about her.