Sitcom

The other night I was hanging out with a couple of my oldest friends and, as I usually do when I spend time with them, had the thought: We could totally be a sitcom.

We would be some sort of bizarre combination of Friends, Coupling, and Seinfeld.  And it would be hilarious because my friends are hilarious.

The core characters would be us:

Image

And Amy’s husband.  Right now, my idea for the first episode, is when they moved in together and him proposing.

Here is an unrefined and somewhat disparaging excerpt from what I’ve written so far.

————————————————————————-

[Ash and Melissa are struggling with a couch in a hallway while Lindsay carries a large cardboard box behind them.]

Melissa:
Why did you guys have to get such a heavy couch?

Lindsay:
It was a gift from Ash’s mom.

Melissa:
Why did your mom get you such a heavy couch.

Ash:
She wanted to do something nice.

Melissa:
She must hate you, Linds.

Lindsay:
What makes you say that?

Melissa:
Because this couch sucks.  Where the hell is your apartment?

Ash:
Just a little further.  Baby, can you get the door?

[Lindsay puts down the box and sneaks around them but stops at the door and listens.]

Melissa:
Door?  Lindsay?  Ash’s mom’s ugly couch isn’t getting any lighter.

Lindsay:
Shh.  Do you guys hear that?

[They listen; there are the sounds of people fooling around coming through the door.  Lindsay knocks tentatively.  Bronte whips open the door, and mostly closes it behind her; her clothes are askew and she’s flustered.]

Bronte:
Hey guys.

Lindsay:
What’s going on?

Bronte:
No much.  What’s up with you guys?

Ash:
Really heavy furniture.

Melissa:
Ugly heavy furniture.

Bronte:
Do you think you guys could come back?

Lindsay:
What’s going on Bronte?

Bronte, innocently:
Nothing.

Melissa:
Open the door, Bronte!

Lindsay:
Do you have a guy in my new apartment?

Bronte, guilty:
Maybe…

Lindsay:
Bronte!

Bronte:
He’s really cute.  I told him it was my place.

Ash:
Heavy couch, Bronte.  Let us in.

Bronte:
If you come in, he’s gonna know it’s not my place!

Lindsay:
It’s not your place.

Ash:
Open the door, Bronte!

[Bronte pokes her head back in the apartment.]

Bronte:
He must be in the bathroom.  Quick.

[Bronte opens the door and let’s them in.  Lindsay let’s Melissa and Ash get the couch into the living room and follows them with the box.  Melissa and Ash collapse, tired, onto the couch.  Lindsay puts the box on the counter and turns to Bronte.]

Bronte:
Are you mad?

Lindsay:
That depends, is he able bodied.

Bronte:
Oh, yeah.

Lindsay:
Will he help carry up boxes?

Bronte:
If he wants any of this dark chocolate he will.

Lindsay:
You get him to carry boxes up and we won’t tell him this isn’t your place.

Bronte:
Deal.

[Bronte goes over to the hall presumably to elicit Kevin’s help.]

Melissa:
Wait, won’t he notice all the boxes labeled ‘Lindsay’ and ‘Ash’ and realize this isn’t her apartment?

Lindsay:
Bronte’s random?

[Melissa nods.  The three of them look at each other.]

Ash and Lindsay, together:
Naww…

————————————————————————————————

It’s not Shakespeare and my attempts to write plays or screenplays is limited at best, but I would love to get feedback.

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